Pissed Bad

I’m really pissed. I’m badly and very badly pissed. I’ve been given some facts that I dont want to accept.  I question them, but I know its futile. The facts are:

1. The world belongs to good looking people. ONLY. Others who dont belong to the good looks department, are invisible to the world.
2. There are very very few organizations (may be none) that recognize good work and good workers. The point that I havent come across any such organzation, makes me wanna believe, there are NONE.
3. It pays bigtime when you choose to listen to your boss who talks about everything but work without looking bored. So what if he’s telling you what wonders Fair n Lovely does when applied to his brown butt. Just shut up and listen with absolute wonder and awe. Bamm, you’ll be the next STAR OF THE YEAR!
4. It rains awards and bonuses when you lick that Fair n Lovely flavoured boss ass. TRUST ME.
5. Just giggle goofily to get things done from him.
6. You really cant do anything when you are stuck between a boss who’s a total asslicker (of his boss) and his boss (your super boss) feels he’s arrived in life and is Godsent for the sake of humanity.

I really feel like taking a sword and start chopping off heads. Integrtiy is a lost word.

In the wrong lane

“The worst thing in life is ‘ATTACHMENT’ coz it hurts when you lose it. The best thing in life is ‘LONLINESS’. It teaches you everything and when you lose it, you get everything.”

I got this sms from a very dear friend of mine. Keep getting forwards from some of my pals. Some real dirty, some total PJs, some very sentimental, some thought provoking, some very hard hitting, some very practical and a very few that make me think and ponder. Like the one mentioned above.

I agree with it totally. Yes, I’ve lost some very very special things/people in life. And it took me years to come out of the pain. While I know that I’m not the first and wont be the last person on the face of this mother earth to suffer, the point is it still hurts to “lose out on an attachment“. So I feel the first part of the SMS is right.

Eons ago, when I was just getting to know a friend, I happened to tell him I love solitude. He couldnt accept or understand (he’s a retard, now I know) the reasoning that I gave him. There’s something really special about lonliness. It keeps me at peace with myself and with the world that surrounds me. I love to observe people. Given a situation, if I find myself among a group of people, I’d start a topic and stop talking when I realize I’m getting enough mumum for my head.  If I see a stud walking past me, I’d immediately look at the other gals and try and figure out what’d be cooking in their mind. I dont know if I can attribute this trait of mine as a lesson learnt from being alone, but I’d definitely like to give my lonliness, the entire credit. It has taught me to look at things from different view points, understand what goes on in the other side of the team, etc. More importantly, solitude has made me realize its a good place to visit but a bad place to stay. So I feel the 2nd part of the SMS is true.

My new team matrix is such that no one has any subordinate. Its more like everyone is doing his/her own thing but has a common boss. Now as a part of this team, all of us are left alone with our own work profiles. Yes there are groups, but thankfully I dont belong to any. I so love being alone , that I’ve started facing a peculiar problem. Have observed that, when I’m among other team members or with anyone for that matter, I start feeling bored after the 10th minute. I mean I’ve started becoming restless and cranky when in a group. More irresponsible is my behaviour. So much that I sometimes start yawning when there’s a conversation going on. Best example would be that of my appraisal. My boss is taking my appraisal and towards the end of 7th or the 8th minute I start feeling drowsy and look totally uninterested!  Hopefully I dont find myself unemployed from the month of May.

 I NEED TO REFORM MY WAYS. PERIOD.

PS: I’m thinking, what’ll I be getting once I lose my lonliness. Diamond earrings/rings?! *say yes, say yes*

Hopeless Musings – IV

I’m thinking what to write. Everytime Im not  logged in, I get this sudden urge to rant something here, but this urge vanishes the  moment I login. So all my thoughts and ideas have gone. Poye Pochu. Chole Gayeche.

 I’m looking out of the balcony and am seeing someone. There’s this kid (annoying) in my neighbourhood, who’s vacations have started, listening to some Billu Barber’s songs. He belongs to a family that believes in shouting in the name of talking. So even if the woman wants to call her husband, for whatever reasons, she shrieks ” Eh Rajeshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” and all the Rajeshs’ in my area get up with a start. Its either this name or “Eh Adityaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” “Eh Shubhammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm”!!! These two are the wonder sons of the wonder couple. Apparently, the favourite hero of the family is SRK. My family gets to hear all his songs without any of us having to make any effort to make ourselves “LISTEN” to whats going on in Eh Rajeshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh’s house. For a family of 2 and a half (I’m counting the kids as 1/4 and 1/4), one should listen to the amount of utensil  noise that pollutes the silence of our area. Believe it or not the sounds start from 4 in the morning and goes on till about 11 at night. I have no clue of who cooks, or whats or who’s being cooked. Its a paradox, since all 2 and a half of them weigh not more than 60 kgs put together. Yeah man, all of them are as thin as a weed! The ritual of waking up Eh Adityaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and Eh Shubhammmmmmmmmmmmm is one shout match. Dont know what happens after this freak show, coz I find myself at work after 9 in the morning.

You know what its like, when you come back home all tired after a horrendous day at work (where your boss calls you names and tells the other AVPs and VPs what nincompoops he manages), the first thing that you end up listening is our royal family’s buffoonery and antics in kitchen with more music of the utensils. Its actually the noise that drives me bonkers!

Even when I get up in the middle of my sleep for water or whatever, my ears would still end up listening to some sound emanating from the house! The interesting part is that I dont know the name of the female who scowls. Here again she comes.. I gotta run…

Words & Visuals

We all do this. Visualise. Some do it when asked to and some visualize anytime. For me, its a process that stops only when I sleep. Its like whenever Im listening to anyone talk, be it in person or over the phone, or chats, sms’, my head is busy forming pictures about whatever my ears are listening. So much so that I have specific visuals for some words. For eg:

1. Madam: Whenever I’m called that, I see this: A dilapidated building, preferably govt. office, with huge piles of dusty files strewn all over the place, one computer with horrendous looking monitors, useless keyboards and finally all uncles and aunties chatting, eating, gossiping, basically doing everything except for doing work.
2. Home: A beautifully done drawing room with lime green curtains and furnishings in pearl white colour, a kitchen thats spanking clean and a cozy bedroom.
3. Soap: I can think of either the Mysore Sandal soap ad or Madhuri Dixit (remember the Lux ad??)
4. Pantry: Sticky utensils, odour of milk, knife that smells of onions.
5. Zero watt bulb: Only sidey things come to my mind. Wonder why! I hate the bulbs!!
6. TV: No comments.

There are so many more. But feeling too lazy to write about them.