Lateral Thinking…

Its a forward.  Brilliant one!

Contestants from all Indian Institutes of Technology (IITs) were asked to title this picture

Study the picture for 12 seconds And think about how you would title it:

This winning entry came from IIT Bombay

So whats your Tamil like?

Though I’m not very sure of the Statistics, atleast 8/10 of the Tamilians, who I’ve met in the last 27 years, have asked me this “So are you from Palakkad or…?” The latest of them being my buddy, who I met after more than a year, last week for dindin.

 Honestly, I’ve nothing against this question. But just the lineage where I come from makes things slightly complicated for me.  Dadda is from Palakkad, but born and brought up in Coimbatore. Mom is again from the same place. In laws (here comes the total and chaotic complication) are: Pa from Trichy and an Iyengar & Ma, an Iyer, is from Thrissur. (Yeah baby, perfect love marriage set in the late 60s, with all the Iyengar and Iyer fire attacks during the wedding). Hope I got this right, atleast this time. So whenever I’m asked this question, I actually fumble and tumble before giving out the complicated answer. Its kinda weird coz I’ve to give names of 3-4 places when most have just one native place! There have been times when I’ve really took long to answer this simple question.

So whats my Tamil like? I dont know. Seriously. I know to read and write Tamil. I can perfectly understand whats being said in Patti Mandram (Debates). My M-I-L is teaching me to read and write Malayalam now. Ok, now if you are asking me about my dialect, I guess its Tamalayam (Tamil+Malayalam). May be thats construed as Palakkad Tamil. As a kid, however, I used to feel, Pala”kkad” Tamilian means coming from the Kaadu (Jungle/Forest). [See, thats exactly how and where things get confusing.]

Whatever! We are one of a kind I tell you. Let me do an analysis of how a quintessential TamBrahm home looks like:

1. The moment you enter, you will get the strong Filter Kaapi fragrance in the living room. With tons and tons of pics of all the Hindu Gods displayed in the wall cabinet (or showcase as some call it). Kindly do not mistake the wall cabinet to be a Pooja Room. I still havent got that far. As a kid, my bro used to ask me why so many Gods. I used to convince him saying “With the number of wants and likes that a human has, it becomes highly confusing for ONE God to handle so much. So if you want wealth, you have Goddess Laxmi, you want Intelligence Ganpati Bappa is there, etc.” Call it Super Convincing prowess!!! Oh yes, there WILL ALWAYS be a BIG statue or a pic of the Kuladaivam in the living room. This pic/statue will the biggest in the room, so spotting or understanding the Kuladaivam of a clan is no problem.
2. Moving ahead, there’ll be this kitchen that’ll always see a flurry of activities ranging from preparing tiffin to making Kaapi to everything thats remotely linked to eating. Again a strong aroma of Coconut Oil or Kaapi.
3. Pooja Room. Phew. No discussions here. If wall cabinet had 124 pics, this place will have 12400 pics of all the possible Ummachis and Kadavuls. Just one difference, the photos here would be all King Size. And yes, there’ll be this big Kuttuvillakku (Diya) thats forever lit up.
4. If there are some more rooms, more aroma of Incense Sticks (is the spelling right?) more Kaapi and more Coconut Oil.

So whats its like to be a Tambrahm? Another question!

1. Days start with Slokas and hymns. Yes. All days of the week are specifically allocated for different Bhagwans. Monday is for Lord Shankara, Tuesday is for his cutest son, Lord Ganesha and so on. So different mantrams all through the week. Fridays. Aaaaahh yes!!! The day when my Ma and M-I-L feel, atleast 1 bucket of coconut oil on each strand of hair and Turmeric for the body is a must. Yes. Its a day when we Tambrahms are all slithery and slippery and really Yellow!
2. Marriages and functions. Honestly I avoid them. Too much talks of who’s doing what, who’s son-in-law is the cousin of the second daughter-in-law of the neighbours family living in the US. I lose my ear brain connection within the first 2  minutes. So I cant write much about things that I dont know.
3. Carnatic Music OR Bharatnatyam. Yes. I’m a trained vocalist. 12 years of rigourous training with Bhavam, Thalam and all. Now I sing “The Evil Has Landed” by Testament. *Whatta band.. Bows down in respect.*
4. Curd Rice. Now this is my life. You take Curd Rice out of my life and you’ll find me dead. To all those who dont like curd rice – You all are missing out on something truly celestial.

There are more, but let me reserve it for sometime later.

PS: This post might sound cynical. But yes, Tam brains are considered to be one among the best!!!  

PPS: Wonder why my brain is an exemplary display of perfect distortion!

Yesterday’s remnants

This was the view in the ground floor of my buidling at 12.00 noon today. The knee deep water had come down to ankle deep.This water was like:  Water = Water+pee+poop+shit+crap+plastic bottles+plastic covers+plastic bags+Condoms. In short, it was everything plastic.

You hear my friends voice in the background.

Broken Promise

This is probably the worst kept promise ever! Throughout May and June (or rather the whole year) all the leading dailies spoke about how preapred is Mumbai to combat the July rains.

Its July again and its pouring. Mumbai is AS USUAL raped. You really cannot blame the rains can you? If you want water to wash your arse, you need water. Beer doesnt help. And we Indians, dont really use paper to clean, do we?! So when its monsoon, let it rain. Let it fill the dams and the rivers. But when its gonna piss bad and that too in excess, has enough been done by the Govt to protect its very own people? The answer to this question lies in the question itself.

Mithi is overflowing and I’ve actually seen whats been done to CLEAN it up. There were weeds and other crappy plants and creepers as far as my eyes could see, the last time I saw. The same being 2 days back, on Sunday. All the roads (be it Santa Cruz/Vile Parle/Andheri/Goregaon/Kandivli) have been dug up. Supposedly to construct SkyWalks. ??????? Really? Where has the 1200 crores that was given for dealing with monsoons, unclogging and repair work of the drains, et al. evaporated? Disaster Management or Management Disaster? Will things ever improve? Where have my and my fellow men’s taxes gone?

Dying to hear what BMC commissioner now has to say.

Happy Realization

Last few weeks have been quite turbulent. Some disappointments and the resultant introspection. But I’m happy that I’m over them and have learnt some important things. Ironically they the same things that we often get as forwards. I’m not writing about them coz I want to have some gyaan on my page. Some day I might gather enough courage to read my own posts and I want this to be one of them. So back to the Happy Realization:

1. No matter what the situation is, you just cant afford to lose patience. You lose it and you will regret later.
2. There’s no point or no use bickering about things. Just accept things the way they are and you’ll get some extra sleep.
3. You just cannot escape after having a lousy showdown with your boss. This can be done but be prepared to pay a very nasty price over a very long period of time.
4. Just because your efforts are not being recognized, doesnt mean you should stop putting your efforts. Keep at it, hardwork always pays.
5. It is not really important for us have opinions about everything. Its ok if we are dumb about certain things.
6. If you dont get something that you feel you deserved, may be you didn’t deserve it at all. To look at it in a positive way, something much better is in store.  
7. So what if we spend 10-12 hours at work, its our family and friends who keep us happy and smiling. So be in touch. Pick the phone and make that call. Show them that you are really happy to have them by your side.
8. No matter what, DO NOT snap at your loved ones. The way you have your bad days, even they do. If you have had a bad day, doesnt mean you need to get all impulsive and start snapping, making their days horrible too. On the other hand, if they snap at you, just realize that everyone has their bad days.
9. There’s no such thing as “will do it tomorrow” or “will do it later”. Erase these two words (Later & Tomorrow) from your dictionary. DO IT NOW.
10. We all go through hell and shit. Its alright. You will heal. Its just a matter of some time. Like its very beautifully said “Time heals nothing. It merely re-arranges our memory.”