Hopeless Musings – II

Im confused… Im hurt…. Im pained… I feel this need to pour my heart out in front of someone… But then again, I try n take the first step towards it n my chatterbox says “Whats the point? Cant u deal with this alone? Do u really have to waste ur friend’s time? Everyone goes thru shit in his/her life and u are no different. Deal with it on ur own without making a friend’s life miserable. ” Then I retreat. I cry.. I hurt myself all over again by choosing to suffer in silence.

Im still not able to learn tolerance from the intolerant… Patience from the impatient… Yet I feel grateful coz atleast I’ve learnt to distinguish between them….

Waiting to heal… Again

Stranger

With teary eyes, he came upto me n said “This is the worst thing that could have ever happened to me!!”. Looking back at him helplessly, I reached for his hands, trying to make him feel better. As he placed his head on my shoulders, I saw the child like innocence in his face. I wanted to say so many things, but just couldn’t. Like his, my voice too was getting choked up with an array of emotions. Was it necessary to talk, when our silence did the needful? I dint want to break that silence, simply because I’d have ended up saying something stupid like I LOVE U. I was scared to say that.

His girl was his best friend, n I was jealous of her. I expected to be the only woman in his life. I laughed at myself when I realised that, coz I thought I was way above all this. But no. He was dying from within n so was I. But I wanted my man, my rock, to smile again. I decided to give a call to the most important gal in the life of the most important man of my life, n set things rite. Well….

The very next day, the two of them came to meet me. While I was wondering what now, he just came from behind, hugged me tight n said “U R THE BEST MOMMY EVER!!”