Mumbai. Its my home. For the last 26 years. It has given me, my bro and my parents our home, my education, a good career, my love and above all my marriage. So whatever I have today, I have all of it ONLY IN MUMBAI. Yes I do vent my anger on the traffic, the roads, the pollution, the power cuts. I do. But now, hereafter, I cannot. Something inside of me has stopped living. Its dead. Im numb.
Was coming back from work at around 10.45 when the conductor of the bus said something about some shootout. I just looked at him and gave him the eight bucks thats the cost of a ticket from Thane station to my home. Its only when I switched on the TV, I realized what it was.
59 hours of siege. Taj, Trident, Oberoi and Nariman House. Innocent lives. So what if this time it was the elite who were targetted. Life is a life. Just one realization that if death has to come, it comes. If I have to die and that has to happen by my body getting mutilated, it will happen. Its proven. Or may be its a given. I’m too shaken to say that its a fact.
What did they do to deserve such a gruesome end? Why does my home, my Mumbai, has to face such series of terror attacks almost every month? What have we done?
My heart goes out to all the brave people (all the commandos and Police officials) to gave their lives in this battle of liberating my home from the siege.
I had a miscarriage sometime during the last year. I was shattered. I remember a friend trying to console me saying atleast I did not have to look at the baby. I cursed God a lot. Now I know, He was right. What am I going to give my child here? What history? A place thats always been an exemplary image of resilience or a place thats been the target for terror attacks? On one hand I have people who are the first ones to come and help whenever such things happen and on the other we have our lame fuckers a.k.a Politicians. At the kind of mental state that I’m in, I see these as both sides of the same coin. I feel I’ve lost all my comprehending capacties.
Whats next? Few days of mourning? Some celebs writing blazing columns in the dailies?? Journalists hosting shows about Whether India has had Enough??? (Dont have already have the answers???) Our old pricks and sissies blaming each other, as always???? Some bastard in the name of being a DCM, commenting “such small things happen”???? Small?? Would you have called it big had your kids lost their lives in “SUCH SMALL THINGS”??? Bet your arse, you would have!
Will our Govt ever learn from its past mistakes? Will there be someone to take up ownership? While I ponder over these, a chill runs downs my spine coz I know someone somewhere is again planning to attack my home again and take away some more innocent lives. I feel the terrorists are more organized and united in their stand as compared to our politicians.
Amidst all this, I just realized that Im missing someone like never before. Though I dont know if Im allowed to miss him given the fact that I’m not a Marathi Manoos. Raj Thackrey. Sir, where are you?